During my undergraduate years at HPU, one of my psych professors told me that I had a “strong sense of self”.
Psychology defines Sense of Self as: “The way a person thinks about and views his or her traits, beliefs, and purpose within the world.“
I asked my professor what she meant by that, and she explained that she could tell that I had someone in my life that loved me very much. (That person is my grandmother… and I’m surprised that she could decipher that from her short interactions with me). Huffington Post even compiled a list of things you can do to strengthen your sense of self:
- You must believe in yourself
- You must live and speak your truth
- You must see yourself in a positive light
- You must be compassionate with yourself
- You must keep moving forward.
I bring this up because I’ve come to realize that when I decide on something–like, when I know that something is what I want–I’m pretty committed to it. I’ve never been afraid to be different, and peer pressure has zero chance when compared to my values & what I’ve decided feels right for me to pursue (or not pursue).
So, what happens when I’m confident in what I want, but the timing of world sends me down a different path?
I wait.
…annnnd, it sucks! haha.
Not gonna lie, the last four weeks; well… really, past five months have been a true test of my patience. But it wasn’t until about four weeks ago that feelings of defeat and apathy started seeping in. I started questioning if all my patience was futile, and if exerting any more effort would just go in vain.
It was like thinking I’d been making good choices & doing everything in the best way, but then having an overwhelming awakening that… none of that mattered?
Yeah… I wasn’t in a very good mental state.
Snapping out of that mindset took a frigid reality check from that loved one, and the support of some of my close friends. (As independent and self-sustaining as I try to be, I know I couldn’t get through much without my support system. Thank you).
By reminding myself that I believe in me and my worth, that I’ve already expressed what I truly want & am not willing to compromise that, remembering that I’m only human and to not be so hard on my short comings, and to always always keep moving forward (even when I can barely make out the light at the end of the tunnel), I regained my strength in my sense of self.
Today, I finally got some news that was long overdue.
And yes, the wait was worth it.
🙂