” When the tears come streaming down your face
‘Cause you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
What could it be worse?”
After taking the StrenghsFinders 2.0 assessment multiple times, I’ve found that two of my top strengths (in varying order) are Empathy and Restorative.
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective.
You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings — to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution.
Your exact preferences are determined by your other themes and experiences. But what is certain is that you enjoy bringing things back to life. It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factor(s), eradicate them, and restore something to its true glory.
(With a combo like this, it’s no wonder I chose Psychology as my major, ha).
As of late, I’ve been grappling with the fact that even though I’m naturally skilled at understanding the perspectives of other people and may become invested in wanting to solve many of their problems, I cannot help those who don’t want to help themselves.
At times, this can be difficult to accept; especially when I care about someone.
What becomes painful for me is when I understand the struggle that someone is experiencing, yet their actions indicate that they refuse to acknowledge that they could use help, or that they want to get past their challenge.
This is where I have to learn to let go.
I have to train myself to stop ruminating about another’s perspective, and focus more on my own well-being. When I can’t always restore another’s problems, I need to shift my attention towards figuring out why this affects me so deeply, and restoring the part of myself that feels inadequate because of it. I use to think that by doing this, it would categorize me as being selfish… But I’m realizing that there’s a difference between being selfish and having self-care.
So, as the song beautifully encapsulates, I can try to fix you. However, if that becomes fruitless, it behooves me to let go and trust that those “lights will guide you home.”
*If this post resonated with you, then it was meant for you.